16. Your REACTION is
very Important
Author : Stephen Covey ( Management Guru)
Have you read this before?
Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least by the way you
react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of
life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control
over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The
plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may
cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.
The
other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You
cannot control a red light. But you can control your reaction. Don’t let people
fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Lets use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter
knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over
what just what happened. What happens when next will be determined by how you
react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She
breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize
her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal
battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you
find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready
for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You
rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you
drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and
throwing a $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into
the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes
late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it
continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your
spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why
did you have a bad day?
A)
Did the coffee cause it?
B)
Did your daughter cause it?
C)
Did the policeman cause it?
D)
Did you cause it?
The
answer is (D)..
You
had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5
seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened . Coffee splashes over you.
Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, It’s OK honey, you just need to
be more careful next time. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After grabbing a
new skirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the
window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5
minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the
day you are having. Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started
the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do
not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by
your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If
someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack
roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect
you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result
in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if
someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering
wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does
your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive
ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10
principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose
sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time
into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule
for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no
control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other
passengers. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know
the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will
lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and
apply this principle.
17. WANT LOVE
YOUR JOB?
What’s your motivation in the workplace? In our article
leadership quality, we related a famous story about three stonecutters.
In this story, each was asked what he was doing. One answered that he was
earning a day's pay. The second that he was a stone cutter, cutting stone.
Only the third replied that he was doing something other than the obvious. He
was building a cathedral.....
We used this story because it demonstrates the
leadership quality of seeing the bigger picture.
The third stonecutter saw his job in the context of something much bigger. He
alone saw that he was helping to create something.
************
Seligman told a wonderful story. He recounted visiting a good friend in hospital
when an orderly came into the room. The man proceeded to take out pictures from
his bag and fix them to the wall, beyond the foot of the patient's bed. Seligman
asked him what he was doing. “My job? I’m an orderly on this floor,” he
answered. “But I bring in new prints and photos every week. You see, I’m
responsible for the health of all these patients. Take Mr. Miller here. He
hasn’t woken up since they brought him in, but when he does, I want to make sure
he sees beautiful things right away.”
This hospital orderly, concluded Seligman, “did not define his work as the
emptying of bedpans or the swabbing of trays, but as protecting the health of
his patients and procuring objects to fill this difficult time of their lives
with beauty. He may have held a lowly job, but he crafted it into a high
calling.”
18. How to face
problems positively
A
parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the
farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule braying - or - whatever mules do when
they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer
sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was
worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told
them what had happened and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule
in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors
continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly
dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back HE
SHOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP! This he did, blow after blow. Shake it off
and step up, shake it off and step up, shake it off and step up! he repeated to
encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation
seemed the old mule fought and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING
UP! You’re right! It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and
exhausted, STEPPED TRIUMPHANTLY OVER THE WALL OF THAT WELL! What seemed like it
would bury him, actually blessed him, all because of the manner in which he
handled his adversity.
THAT’S LIFE! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and
refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, THE ADVERSITIES THAT COME
ALONG TO BURY US USUALLY HAVE WITHIN THEM THE POTENTIAL TO BENEFIT AND BLESS US!
